A Parakeet's Flight: Divine Awakening

During the summer of 2012, I lost a bird. He was a sweet little parakeet who talked—he’d say things like, “I love you!” and “It’s okay.” He was also a free-flying companion who one day soared straight out an open door and didn’t return.

That moment became a fulcrum in my life.

During the week he was missing—and in the days after we found his limp little body, struck by a vehicle on a bridge over glassy waters—I found myself reexamining and redefining my priorities. It’s incredible what a tiny creature can awaken in you.

His loss sparked something deeper: a search for meaning beneath the sadness. The bird came to symbolize a quiet inner death I hadn't fully acknowledged—one brought on by overwork and self-neglect. I had become a victim of my own career, consumed by busyness. And that little bird had been the one consistent reminder in my day to be present.

His fleeting spirit became the inspiration for Pixie, the yellow parakeet mascot of JulianaFay.com. She now represents something far greater: freedom, curiosity, presence—a spark of divine wonder that continues to guide my creative path.

Pixie is the embodiment of the awakening that followed his loss. A reminder to stay curious, to chase mystery, and to seek the divine in ordinary things. This became the foundation of Divine Intrigue—both the videos and the reflections I share here.

In the wake of that loss, I became more selfish with my time—not in a hardened way, but in a way that protected the space I needed to create. To be quiet. To feel again. Because, in my experience, creative pursuit is nothing short of a spiritual practice.

That continues to this day.

I am, at heart, a researcher—always reaching for understanding. And for me, art is a kind of expression that makes sense of the ache and awe of being alive. Words and pictures are the ways I make meaning. They’re what make me feel real.

prev / next