Despair

I read somewhere once....

"Don't forget you're human. It's okay to have a meltdown once in awhile. Just don't unpack and live there. Cry it out and then refocus on where you're headed."

Wise sentiment.

My second cousin's mother - so I guess would make my first cousin once removed (according to the internet) passed away on Jan 31st. "T" was like a sister to my mother. They spent a great deal of time together as children. And our families have been close throughout the years.

Among so many wonderful qualities "T" possessed was the ability to remain positive throughout it all. She lost both parents at a young age, and also endured further tragedy, losing a brother in an unnatural way. And yet you'd never know such darkness might have been a part of her past, her history. Always smiling, always laughing - the sort of laugh that made you feel good even if you'd just entered the room and had not an inkling of what prompted the laughter. You just felt good. Being in the presence of her positive spirit. 

And so the family bid her goodbye over the last few days. She leaves too soon. I can actually imagine heaven being just a bit brighter now that she's there. But down here, the day is sullen. 

I took this picture yesterday.

Cold and dark was the day. An empty bench seemed to capture the sentiment of perfect loneliness. And yet the shadowy gloom and glossy waters still draw one in. I think. It did me.

Despair. Stay for just awhile.